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[Music] what is love this is a foundational topic a life-changing topic the material in this episode will transform your whole life if you are able to hear it but also the explanations here will be rather advanced requiring that you keep a very open mind and that is because our society does a very poor job of explaining what love is our notions of love are very unsophisticated and juvenile and so therefore when you hear a very deep explanation of what love is a metaphysical explanation uh well you might bulk at it because it's gonna sound so different from what you thought and of course what you thought was based upon what you got from our culture if you're at spiral dynamic stage orange if you're a materialist a scientifically minded person a skeptic a rationalist an atheist a cynic then again you might balk at some of the things i'm going to say here because fundamentally spiral dynamic stage orange refuses to admit that the universe can have any human qualities and of course love from that paradigm seems like it's a human quality it seems like a flaky airy fairy sort of thing which has nothing to do with the truth nothing to do with objective reality these are just romantic sentimental emotions that's how it looks from that materialist paradigm and that's what we're going to be challenging that's what makes this topic here advanced because love is not that actually love is more fundamental than mathematics and physics but that can be difficult to stomach and accept if you're coming from the materialist paradigm how is that possible leo how is it possible that this human emotion can be more fundamental than mathematics and physics well it's possible because the universe is actually a giant mind it's not a mechanical system it's not a box with atoms bouncing around in it it's much more sophisticated and nuanced than that what's going on here with life and reality is a much much much much more tricky thing than that life is a giant mind it is organic it's alive it's intelligent it's conscious and it has the capacity to love now how do you reconcile that with modern science and modern physics it doesn't compute so you have to kind of set that aside for now set your objections and and worries aside about that and just go with this because what i'm talking about here is i'm not talking about some belief system or some ideology that you have to believe from me what i'm talking about is stuff that you can become directly conscious of stuff that i've become directly conscious in my life which has had a huge impact in how i relate to people how i think about the world and most importantly the quality of my life how happy i can be because of course your happiness depends on your capacity to love love is not just another emotion love is not just some airy fairy touchy-feely girly thing love is not sexual attraction and romance love is not needing other people to love you or getting love from other people as though you're getting approval or praise from them that's not love and really love is not a human quality stop thinking of it that way what love is is love is a universal property it's a property of the universe it's fundamental it's absolutely fundamental it's metaphysical in my episode where i talk about what is intelligence i also frame intelligence this way i say that intelligence is fundamental to the universe and that it's not just a human brain phenomena well just like i said that intelligence is a facet of the absolute love is also a facet of the absolute and in hinduism they actually have this this notion called satchit ananda which is the three-part sort of the trinity description of the absolute truth is consciousness chit is or actually sought is truth is consciousness and ananda is love satchit ananda truth consciousness love it's really all one thing the absolute but it does have these facets and this is what enlightenment is about is become conscious of these facets you can become conscious of these facets individually and then you can also become conscious of these facets all collectively together at various degrees and levels of depth so when a human being is experiencing love whatever kind of love you've experienced for your family members for your friends for mankind for your cat for your dog this is a little sliver of universal love this giant mind which is conscious in this giant mind which is the entire universe is held every single human being is held every single living creature is cut held all of physical reality what we think of as physical reality this is all contained inside this mind that's what this is that's what's happening right here consciousness right consciousness consciousness is the substance of all this stuff but a facet of consciousness is love love is not an emotion that consciousness feels that's really not the right way to think of it as a human being who is conscious of course you can have these various kinds of emotions which are love-based but there's a more metaphysical aspect to love which is very difficult to describe this requires uh a non-dual mystical experience to get a good strong sense of it and it's very powerful it's life transforming we're going to be exploring and explaining love from many perspectives here so again we're gonna be hitting it from different angles with different sorts of definitions so you get a big overall picture a compound perspective truth is love which is very counterintuitive because you think like well why would the truth have anything to do with love wouldn't the truth be just like this sort of stale dry neutral thing you would think right because you would think like leo the universe doesn't really care about us why would the universe care i mean why wouldn't the universe like be hateful versus loving right why wouldn't you why are you saying the universe is good why not bad i mean what what's going on there and it's a little difficult to understand because um from the materialist perspective it certainly seems like the truth would just be this neutral thing this dry neutral thing which has no human qualities but actually what you discover is that all of the qualities that you had as a human being including consciousness intelligence and love that these were not just accidental byproducts of some evolutionary process these were actually qualities of the universe itself you understand right that you are the universe you're not just in the universe you are the universe try to get that like right now feel this connection you are the universe not just a creature within the universe that means whatever you're feeling the universe is capable of feeling literally so when you feel sad that means the universe is able to feel sad when you feel happy that means the universe can feel happy when you feel love that's the universe feeling love when you're being intelligent that's the capacity of the universe is intelligence how do we know that's true because you are the universe by definition you see if the universe couldn't be intelligent or loving you couldn't be either i mean this is just it's like so obvious it's super obvious but people overlook it because they think like oh no but these are just human things and then like the universe is just like some cold heartless atoms bouncing around somewhere behind the scenes or some sort of it's a it's some sort of uh mathematical computation that's happening we're inside of a giant simulation computer sort of thing and that's what the universe is and it doesn't care about love no you're just wrong that's just the wrong assumption stop thinking of it that way what you can discover is that the love that you've ever felt in your life that's a little sliver of infinite love love in its purest form just like intelligence whatever intelligence you have that's a little sliver of absolute infinite intelligence it's literally infinitely intelligent and it's literally infinitely loving and this is the most shocking thing that you will ever discover in your life is infinite love it's heart wretching it's beautiful it's incredible it's it's beyond words divine love and then you see that your love little human love has always been uh just like a little a little um stream that ran off from this cosmic source of love that is always there the very being of consciousness is love you just need to be very conscious in order to recognize it love is infinite and unlimited but of course it doesn't usually feel that way to you because you've got this big old fat ego in the way which we'll talk about in a minute the obstacles to love but let me give you some other perspectives on what love love is absolute acceptance of everything you see the reason that the universe you could say has love is because the universe accepts itself completely it's not resisting any part of itself it loves every piece of itself you could say it's to love all of reality without exception it's to love so deeply that evil is an impossibility a love so deep that you can't even imagine what evil is because you love everything so much that there's no more room left for evil to exist because you have loved the evil to death love can also be thought of as being conscious of the beauty of creation are you conscious of the beauty of creation right now as it's happening before you if you are then you're going to be falling in love head over heels in love with every moment of creation the beauty of it the intelligence of it how amazing it is but of course most people are so numb and mesmerized by by everyday survival needs that they completely lose sight of this love is tolerance of the intolerable love is surrender of the self love is selflessness you see the universe is selfless and therefore it can be infinitely loving because it is itself in its very being is its self-acceptance and its love for itself love is the deuce the dissolution of all boundaries total non-duality when everything breaks down and everything just becomes one unity one oneness and you become conscious of that that is love death is love the moment when you die you will dissolve into infinity from which you came and that will be one of the most beautiful experiences that you have ever had i've had this experience multiple times and it just constantly blows my mind every time it blows my mind the greatest beauty i've had is dying it's this feeling of dissolving into infinity and at that moment you surrender yourself so completely that you don't care anymore about whether you live or die you accept your death because you have no choice and you just surrender and your entire body sort of just dematerializes and scatters into every direction across the entire universe forever to infinity and it's the greatest peace the greatest feeling of peace and surrender and bliss that you could possibly imagine and this is something you can experience and then you can come back and you can talk about it god is love don't be scared by this word god all it really means is the universe or reality that's god and love is a quintessential facet of god the purpose of life is to love to become as loving as you can possibly be in fact a really good way to think about life is that it's a love simulator that's what all this is you're born you've got about 80 years to live and in these 80 years you're trying to make yourself the most loving human being and you're trying to become conscious of the beauty of all this creation and you're trying to love it as much as you possibly can and this is the most difficult thing to do you would think it would be easy and you might think like well leo but if life is the love simulator how come there's all this awful stuff how come there's death and slavery and disease and cancer and genocide and war and torture and rape and all this sorts of nasty stuff shouldn't it be rainbows and butterflies and rivers flowing with honey and and heavenly stuff like that but of course the answer is no because the true test of your love is your ability to love everything not just the things that please your ego but everything including of course war and famine and cancer and all this sorts of stuff that's the real test so to really put you into this simulator in the same way that like if we wanted to to train a fighter pilot in a flight simulator would we put him in a flight simulation where the plane was like under perfect conditions all the time the plane flew itself for him and he would just sit there and just push one button and it would all do everything for him automatically with no difficulties no that doesn't train anything the whole point of training is that you train the toughest situations so like you deliberately program into the simulator that the engine one of the engines is out or there's a fire in the cockpit or something like that and then he has to deal with that stuff where it's like running low on fuel and now he has to land or he has to land under extreme weather conditions and wind and all this sorts of stuff right that's how you become a good pilot so your job here is to learn how to navigate all these obstacles and still love despite all of that and that's the most difficult thing that means you have to get over yourself that means you have to develop yourself and grow yourself and so that's really what you're doing as a human being is you're growing yourself you're trying to develop yourself to the highest capacity you're trying to turn yourself from this little uh thing that you were born that doesn't know anything about life and then you're trying to actualize yourself into literally god to become as loving as god which means you have to surrender yourself you have to die to the truth to reality get completely over yourself all of your fears and all of your inhibitions get over all of that and then you can say that you've accomplished the mission of life and then you can die happy and peaceful see that's the game here that's what we're doing everything else is just obstacles in this simulator towards that end but of course how many people understand that how helpful is it if you actually understood what the point of all this was pretty helpful notice that there cannot be true fulfillment in your life without love there cannot be this so the quote-unquote so-called good life without love whatever you might imagine the good life is what money sex houses cars yachts vacations travel partying all this sorts of stuff if you have all that but you don't have the capacity to love what have you got you've got a loveless life and then your life actually still sucks which is exactly the trap that many successful people fall into they don't realize that love cannot be purchased that means love has to be developed and that's exactly right when you're in a simulator you can't purchase your way out of it right because that would be that would defeat the whole simulator so there's no quick magic pill solution to really love you have to develop your capacity to love and that's a really difficult thing to do because you got to love the hard stuff not just the easy stuff most people sure they love to love the easy stuff they love sex they love food they love people who love them they love their family they love the stuff that helps them but that's the easy stuff how about loving the really hard stuff that's a real test of your love that's what really grows you that's what really fulfills you is to be able to love the hard stuff and that's not a capacity you can buy that's a capacity that you got to work your ass off for so let's pause all the theory here for a moment and let's get you a real uh in the body feeling of what love is so let's do a quick little five minute exercise here get comfortable in your seat and close your eyes and i'll guide you through a little bit of a guided visualization here all right so i'd like you to relax and get comfortable and with your eyes closed think of a time remember a time when you felt very loved or where you loved something very much it could be anything could be a pet a dog a cat a horse that you had that you loved could be a child that you have or spouse could be a video game could be a piece of music that you listen to could be a movie that you love to watch locate a specific time in your life where you really felt the love this feeling of fondness and affection for something and feel it in your heart bring that memory back to life feel what it feels like to love and now magnify that sensation in your body and in your chest and start expanding it out start to really feel into it really magnify it and now expand that feeling beyond just an affection for that particular thing but for all of reality expand that transmute that little narrow love into a universal love for all of existence for the beauty of existence for the privilege of being able to be here and be conscious and alive and develop that magnify that feeling even more in your chest and expand it out beyond your chest really feel it and visualize it as something palpable something so thick you can cut it with a knife and push that love out like you're a fountain of love push it out through your chest and out into the surrounding space around you to fill the entire room and beyond the room into the entire universe such that there's no boundaries between what's going on in your chest and your entire consciousness permeate your entire consciousness with this love and just bask in that for a moment and now open your eyes that's what love feels like the really important thing to realize is that you don't want to be waiting for love to come looking for you knocking on your door love is something you need to create you are meant to be a fountain of love a walking talking breathing fountain of love that's what you're trying to become this is done proactively deliberately consciously not accidentally and randomly when good stuff happens to you you put the love into everything if you struggle with this exercise and you weren't able to feel anything or maybe you think like leo i've never loved anything in my life that just shows you how much work you have to do don't worry that doesn't mean you're dysfunctional it doesn't mean that you're a lost cause it just means you need a lot more practice you need to develop that within yourself and there's many different techniques and methods for developing that which we will discuss uh towards the end of this episode right but you need to start to develop that ability and to get good at it and to be able to trigger it on command not just something that happens to you right the whole the biggest problem with people is that they expect love from external sources and they they refuse to take personal ownership and responsibility over the fact that they're create they are creators of love they can create it the true test of your love is your ability to love evil criminals war violence foreigners all the stuff that is against you your true test of love is how much you're able to realize that all of this around you right here is god and that all of it is love that's the true test of your love so that your love is unconditional and indiscriminate so that you don't make exceptions for like well i love this but i hate that guy who called me a bad name or i hate that politician or i hate that group of foreigners or i hate those immigrants or i hate those guys who are stealing stuff you see that's discriminate love a true test of your love is non-judgment how non-judgmental can you be the realization that all judgment is delusion it's all partial the universe at its highest level doesn't judge itself doesn't hate itself doesn't discriminate against itself from the universal perspective everything within the universe is perfect it's all good the universe loves itself unconditionally you on the other hand that's another matter that takes work you might say that one definition of spirituality is that spirituality is the art of love spirituality is a set of practices and concepts which help you to increase your capacity to love with the ultimate aim to get to an infinite capacity for love that's true spirituality if you're doing it properly but of course the problem is that you're not really capable of love are you because you're too damn selfish and this is where it's really useful to create the distinction between conditional versus unconditional love conditional love is what normally people think of as love it's love the things that are good love of the things that serve the ego's agenda the ego only knows how to love conditionally the ego simply loves the things that help it and it hates those things which don't help it it's really that simple the ego is a creating of a boundary within reality and saying that everything within this boundary is extra special and important that's me everything outside this boundary is not me and i don't really care about that stuff because i care so much about me but see that's the very definition of partial discriminate love you love this but you hate other stuff around you so what prevents love it's the ego's fear of dissolution because the ego is so attached to maintaining this boundary that it's created around itself which it now identifies with that is what ego is it's this boundary so the ego now is in this predicament where has to spend its whole life protecting and defending this boundary and so the ego gets so attached to this process of defending this boundary that it's constantly afraid of this boundary dissolving because if this boundary dissolves then i die and death is the worst possible thing the ego thinks from the ego's perspective that's the case and so the ego is not able to love everything because if the ego loved everything then this boundary would dissolve and that's the biggest thing that the ego fears so when i tell you to love evil you say leo i don't want to love evil that's bad for me that's right it's very threatening and now you understand why love is so difficult and now you understand that why we need this whole thing called life this love simulator is to train you that actually it's okay to go beyond yourself to let yourself go it's okay to accept the full magnitude of what you are what you are is so big and so magnificent so infinite that actually it's scary to accept what you really are everything that exists it's too much it's too big you don't feel comfortable that way you feel comfortable being small and defending your smallness but of course this smallness is fundamentally false so actually contrary to what many materialists think which is that they think that love is somehow a feeling which is not a fact it's not objective in that leo love is just some romantic sentimental notion has nothing to do with truth actually it's the exact opposite love has everything to do with truth and your notion uh of separation that's what's is what's false you loving your little ego that's what is false what is the opposite of love it's egotism narcissism fear hate judgment unconsciousness violence intolerance manipulation tribalism exploitation power games ignorance closed-mindedness and division you cannot love so long as you're preoccupied with food sex survival status success money addiction drugs ideology politics religion or logic so all of these things need to be dropped but of course the ego is so attached to all these things who wants to give up their ideology does the christian want to give up his ideology does the muslim want to give up his ideology to truly be loving does the materialist does the atheist want to give up his ideology to be truly loving no because he thinks he's right and this arrogance is exactly what stands in the way of being all loving because the atheist loves to hate the religious person and the religious person loves to hate the atheist and the muslim loves to hate the christian and the christian loves to hate the muslim and the republican loves to hate the democrat and the democrat loves to hate the republican and on and on it goes the rich people love to hate the poor people and the poor people love to hate the rich people the white people hate the black people and the black people hate the white people this creating of division is what the ego does that's its modus operandi and it's such a is such a powerful force you understand this is your whole life we're talking about your whole life hinges on this fundamentally the reason you can't just love everything all the time is because it's too threatening to your life your very life is at stake see and what this simulator is trying to teach you is that you need to let go let go of attachment to life and that's the scariest thing that there is to do that's why the simulator is needed what is hate if hate is the opposite of love well actually in a sense hate is not the opposite of love because like i said love really is everything all being is love all consciousness is love but then you might wonder well if everything is love leo how do you account for hate and evil very easily what hate is is excessive love of the self which then results in hate of the other so actually hate is a form of love it's just a very dense and crude form of love it's a distorted misdirected love so think of it like an ice cube which starts at a solid and then it melts and it turns into a liquid and then it can evaporate and turn into a into a gas so this cube is always water likewise everything is always love no matter what phase it's in whether it's liquid gaseous or um solid it's it's all love right but when it's in this condensed form this block of ice that's what it looks like when it's called hate conventionally speaking then when it becomes liquid then it becomes a little bit more like conventional love and then finally when it becomes a gas and it embraces everything then it becomes this sort of divine infinite unconditional love which very few people experience most people only experience the solid state of love and the liquid state of love but never the gaseous state of love so the solid state of love is what you feel for your enemies who you hate it's dense it's rigid see it's very stubborn it refuses to yield with your family members for example you love them in the conventional sense of the word love you buy them valentine's day cards and holiday cards with hearts on them and stuff like that and you kiss them and you tell them that i love you so that's a more you might say that that's the pinnacle of love but no it's not that's a very shallow form of love it's still highly conditional you only love your your family just because they they they basically play and suit your ego uh in certain ways uh you don't really love your family unconditionally and so that's a we would say that's the sort of the liquid form and then if you really work on yourself for the next 10 20 years then you'll get to the gaseous form and then you can really start to experience the unconditional forms so what i'm saying here is that every evil person actually acts out of love so hitler acts out of love he created world war ii out of love now this is very counterintuitive to people because you would think like no no that's that's completely wrong that's the you got it backwards that's the opposite of love that's hate but that's just love let me see because what's really going on there is that it's hitler's ego and the national ego of germany and the nazi party which created this division between itself and the rest of the world and then it lashed out because it was not capable of being fearless into surrendering itself to everybody else it wanted a purified version of its race and its people and its ideology you see and it was scared it was paranoid how did hitler rally all his supporters through paranoia and fear fear of others fear of foreign or sphere of people taking over germany and fear of being treated unfairly and threat existential threats see this is how fascism works this is how all hatred works is by a sense of existential threat from foreigners or from bad economic conditions or whatever else the ego feels threatened and it loves itself but then it doesn't have enough love to love everything so it only limits its love to itself but of course there's a very interesting twist to this you would think like well yeah someone who's a total narcissist just loves himself completely and yeah this person can go out there and hate people and do all sorts of evil but it's really interesting because actually because the ego is fragmented and it's so twisted and distorted that it's not even capable of loving itself fully so a person who hates is actually incapable of loving himself he loves only those parts of himself which are easy to love and he denies and suppresses other parts of himself and then projects those out into the world so a person might for example uh love his appearance and maybe love many aspects of his personality but not all aspects of his personality some aspects of his personality he's gonna deny maybe he has some homosexual tendencies but he doesn't love those because those go against his ideology and what he was taught in the culture so he's gonna suppress and deny those he's gonna hate that part of himself but of course he can't admit to himself that he hates himself so what he has to do is to suppress that be unconscious of it and then project it out into the world and then hate other people out there same thing with a racist uh a racist doesn't want to admit that all people are fundamentally one part of a giant system all of it alive and conscious a racist wants to feel like my race is special my race is better than that race over there because that's how he defines himself is against somebody else out there and so by rejecting the truth of the absolute unity of existence he has to deny that and then he has to project and he has to demonize those people out there and he has to hate them but of course secretly he also hates himself think about what you hate about yourself what parts of yourself are you denying maybe you hate your nose your hair the freckles on your body maybe you hate how tall you are how short you are how fat you are how skinny you are how ugly you think you are maybe you hate some facet of your personality that you've repressed see imagine what it would be like to fully love yourself in an undivided way to accept yourself for exactly who you are and to accept all other people for exactly who they are and to see no wrong to see it all as part of creation all of it is good that's really difficult for the ego to do the ego can't handle it the ego denies it the okay it creates all sorts of excuses and defense mechanisms against this that's all that a racist is that's all that a terrorist is it's someone who's trying to love it's an ego that's that's struggling to love but it but it doesn't know how to love properly it doesn't realize that love is counterintuitive and love requires letting go and because you know not all of us had good upbringing some of us had very traumatic childhoods with few resources and we had to fight to survive we have gotten programmed into that orientation life where we're always fighting others for scraps of food or for scraps of power or whatever to get our success to get our needs met and then we get we get stuck in that orientation and then we think that it's a competitive world we have to out-compete other people otherwise we're going to die and we're afraid to die and so then that's what our life becomes is this survival game without realizing that actually we need to rise above that be magnanimous and be willing to die if necessary and that takes a big person that's very counter too most people live through their whole life and don't realize anything that i'm saying here none of this strikes them at all as a possibility because it's so counter-intuitive it's exactly the opposite of what they think and that's exactly how the devil works the devil is the ego and the the devil his whole modus operandi is that he flips everything inside out 180 degrees black is white white is black up is down the left is right north is south and uh love is hate and hate is love the ego gets everything backwards because or well the devil i mean um because fundamentally what the devil needs to do in order to survive is to deny the truth truth needs to be turned into falsehood and falsehood needs to be turned into truth that's why the ego reverses love and hate the devil actually convinces himself that by hating others out there like foreigners or bad people nazis and whoever else that by doing that he's actually doing good that's what the devil has convinced himself of without realizing that actually no he needs to embrace all that and love all that and that's the biggest problem with with traditional religion is that traditional religion doesn't teach this it's supposed to teach this but it doesn't teach this because it's so radical and because religion has been co-opted over the years as a tool for maintaining power and of course maintaining powers is the the game of the devil the game of the ego so the devil has infiltrated all major religions converted them to his own purposes such that most people who learn major religious teachings actually think that hating people is good and that loving their tribe is the point of religion which exactly is exactly the opposite closed-minded people cannot love opinionated people cannot love judgmental people cannot love needy people cannot love superficial people cannot love ideological people cannot love success-oriented people cannot love money and power hungry people cannot love addicted people cannot love hypological people cannot love arrogant people cannot love and fearful people cannot love all right let's see a quick intermission here i'm gonna catch a break and i'll be right back all right let's take a look now at love from the perspective of spiral dynamics so if you're not familiar with spiral dynamics i'll refer you to my six part mini series which will change your life if you watch that whole thing it takes a while but it's worth it but for those of you who are let me just point out some interesting things about how you can use spiral dynamics to look at love so every stage of the spiral of course as the ego is developing and evolving and as the circle of concern is growing as one is identifying with more and more in one's environment then love transforms basically from a very dense solid into a more liquid and then gaseous form so at stage purple which is this the tribal magic stage you have a tribal forms of love where people are working in this tight-knit community and of course they're loving their tribe but of course these tribes are very uh well known for warring with other neighboring tribes one tribe will steal a pig from another tribe and then they go to war for 20 years over that pig killing each other right and then you've got tribal warfare um so this is like old-school tribal warfare this is the tribes that live in the amazon still tribes that you can find in africa like this right these tribes like they literally have not been outside their little circle in the amazon like they don't know that there exists a larger world so of course their sense of identification is very very narrow and all their love goes towards serving their tribe but they're not able to love uh universally then when that expands and develops a little bit more then you go into stage red and stage red is a very sort of twisted solid form of love which is very narcissistic it's a sort of a tough love love in the form of violence in the form of conquest love of building empires love of building dictatorships tyranny punishment retribution vengeance and power and you might save a leo that's the opposite of love no it's not the opposite of love it's just a very very crude form of love a very gross form of love very twisted form of love and then of course once the limits of that become obvious then you evolve to the next level which is a bit more classically loving and that's stage blue this is the orthodox religious stage this is where many orthodox christians muslims and jews and hindus are at around the world a large chunk of the world is that stage blue and this is sort of a love uh that is a it's a it's sort of a masculine compassion form of love it also has an element of tough love in it a love for country a love for one's ethnicity a love for those who are like you a love for your community uh sacrificing on behalf of your community which is not just your tribe but it's actually your entire nation now your entire civilization it's really a love for civilization there's a love to hate evil evil doers a love of loyalty a love of self-sacrifice to defend your civilization a love of self-denial you're actually denying yourself in the name of love a love of law and order a love of following rules a love of um upholding institutions a love of idol worship which is worshiping god in the orthodox religious sense all of that is idol worship traditional christians and and muslims and jews they're engaged in idol worship that's what that is they don't actually know what god is they've never personally experienced god they have no idea that the entire universe is god all of these are foreign concepts they just have an image of what god is the bearded man in this in the sky the heavenly father with the pearly gates and so that's what they worship and a love of religion but specifically their religion so a stage blue person doesn't love all religions only my religion and a stage blue person doesn't love all nations all civilizations only my civilization because mine is the best and not all ethnicities only my ethnicity only my culture only my country so in that sense it's a very limited form of love then you grow out beyond that and you move to stage orange and stage orange is a love of rationality logic science iq very left brained love of analysis love of materialism love of liberty and individuality and freedom love achievement and success love of money fame sex fun and orange is not willing to sacrifice itself because it's very individualistic a love of libertarianism that's orange then once the limits of that become obvious your love grows even further and now you're moving into sage green and these are the hippies you might say it's a love for now all people and all animals all races all cultures a love of femininity where before femininity was repressed a love for the environment a love for community as opposed to just individuality a love for social justice and defending the weak a love for equality a love for defeating oppressors sensitivity to cruelty willingness to sacrifice the self for the community and now more of a self-love it's more accepting whereas the other stages were self-denying green is is starting to actually understand the importance of loving oneself where before that was seen as somehow you know too self-indulgent or it was seen as too fruity and too girly too feminine then you move on beyond that to stage yellow and stage yellow the love at stage is a little bit difficult to characterize it's sort of a love for knowledge a love for diversity of knowledge a love for different perspectives a love for integration a love for systems thinking a love for understanding reality a love for open-mindedness and then you go beyond that to the highest level which we'll be talking about which is turquoise and that's now the really deepest forms of love that i was talking about earlier the unconditional divine forms of love at stage turquoise you really start to tap into divine love love of all being love of gaia love of the ecosystem love of the entire universe love of god because now you have direct consciousness of what a god is and you understand that you are god and now this gives you the power of true unconditional love of infinite love because you've actually contacted infinite love at this level and now your love is so powerful they're actually able to love evil you're able to love suffering you're able to love ego you're able to love ignorance and delusion and maya and of course you have a love for truth because now you have you've experienced the absolute truth and you have a love for global community and so that's how love evolves so you can kind of peg yourself where you're at you can see and then you can see what the next level is for you now many people are stuck in stage orange especially many men these days and the thing that's holding them back from moving up to stage green is an awakening to love many stage orange people have not awoken to love they don't see leo i don't understand what green is about it seems so weird those social justice warriors and hippies and all this it seems like it's a regression no because you don't understand what you're missing is an awakening of love that's the first awakening then there's going to be a second awakening which is the awakening from yellow to turquoise that's going to be an even deeper awakening to love and also an awakening to community so one of the things that orange people get stuck on is they get this very rigid ideological libertarian stance of individuality and they think like oh it's just me i gotta go out there and conquer the world all by myself i'm an individual we shouldn't have any sort of collective action community is bad and evil is socialism and all this what's your misunderstanding though is that you as an individual are part of a community mankind is a community there is no such thing as individual human beings you can only exist as a human being as part of a community and that's what the libertarians and these individuals don't understand and so to embrace that in a healthy way uh is a very important move in order to move up from orange to green and then from yellow even deeper into turquoise and it's at turquoise where you get some really um powerful potential for community you get it at green two but green communities can still be quite dysfunctional but it's at turquoise where really human communities start to shine and become remarkable it's very rare to find examples of it though most people don't understand what a turquoise community looks like how do you develop love well in the biggest sense what you got to do is you got to dissolve your ego and go for enlightenment only with enlightenment will you really be able to truly love in the way that i've been describing but that'll take you some time and so there are other ancillary practices you can do to start to get improvement in your capacity to love long before you actually attain enlightenment so another thing you can do is you can develop yourself up the spiral stages so if you're at blue move up to orange if you're at orange move up to green if you're a green move up to yellow and so forth and that's going to help you to love more um especially that transition from orange to green that's going to be huge for for many of you guys opening up the heart chakra is huge for love but i'm not going to go into that here i'll i'll shoot a separate episode about that in the future if you want you can go do some research on that it's really all that it really means is that um that exercise that i had you do where you were feeling from your heart that love you just keep practicing that more and more and more until it really opens up your heart really opens up and it's it's a radical transformation of your your psyche and also your physiology too your body your entire body changes and then you're a much more loving and compassionate person all the time it's not just something you visualize once or twice but it's just it becomes the norm that's what opening the heart chakra is about also visualizing yourself being more loving is a really powerful technique even if you don't open your heart chakra just visualizing on a daily basis even you just spend five minutes in the morning visualize yourself being more loving that's a very simple straightforward practice that you can start doing right now and also just feeling more love creating the the body state proactively throughout your day you can practice it in the same way that i i released that video about body awareness what i told you just to relax your body by the way relax your body right now feel that tension in there relax it away um well in the same way you can just like be walking down the street and just tell yourself hey let me just fill my body with love and just fill yourself up or you're driving in your car you just fill yourself up or you're sitting at work at a meeting and you just fill yourself up right you're taking proactive control over this this is called creating feeling states with your body which is something we will also have a future episode on that's an important and deep topic uh another really powerful way to develop love which has been actually uh one of the ways that i've become a lot more loving in the last two years is by experiencing deep suffering consciously and mindfully especially when you deliberately create that suffering yourself like i've said before suffering is a very powerful spiritual growth technology which is why every spiritual tradition has all sorts of techniques that use suffering to create spiritual purification and states of consciousness like for example strong determination sitting or as i've been doing over the last couple years is doing the solo meditation retreats where you isolate yourself for 10 days and you sit there and just meditate 24 7. and in that you experience deep deep deep suffering and during these sorts of retreats i've grown the most i develop the most compassion for the suffering of mankind when i realize how much i suffer during these retreats and also when i become really conscious of my own inadequacies and my own ignorance and how unconscious i am and how much more work i still have to do and how difficult this all is that makes me much more compassionate and loving for all of the struggles in the world that mankind faces because then i know that the reason all this evil and suffering exists is precisely because not everyone is willing to go through the sort of ringer that i'm putting myself through with these retreats and also with psychedelics psychedelics are a super powerful tool for developing your love almost like a magic pill and with psychedelics there's there's sort of two two ways in which they help you to be more loving one is that they can just thrust you into infinite divine love instantly and you're just there and it's amazing and it's palpable and it's the realest thing you've ever experienced and there it is and now you understand everything that i was talking about earlier now it all starts to make sense the entire materialist paradigm is melted away before your eyes and there you are feeling the love of god and now you know that it's real and not just some fantasy or some belief system that's a really powerful experience and i've had a few of those i've had some experience of love on psychedelics that were so deep and so profound that they utterly transformed my entire physiology and body super significant like impossible to explain to ordinary materialistic people what that is actually like you have to actually go through it it's utterly shocking uh but also and very very importantly with psychedelics the second way that you can become much more loving with them is by going through bad trips the stuff that people are afraid of and they avoid well you know by facing your fear and going through the worst trips horrific trips trips that would uh uh give most people an existential crisis or a mental breakdown you know you go through one of those mushroom trips or lsd trips man that level of suffering makes you so much more compassionate and understanding of of people and all their nonsense and all their ignorance and all their evil and also on psychedelics you you can use them to help to love yourself to love your own body to accept yourself very fully so there are there that's like a third facet of how psychedelics can help you psychedelics are a really powerful tool highly recommend them for this work also various kinds of yoga kundalini yoga kriya yoga various kinds of meditation and contemplation practices anything basically that gets you closer to the truth helps you to be more loving and in fact the practice of being more truthful and being more honest in your everyday activities is critical to being able to be more loving because love is just like the flip side of truth and um and if you're in falsehood if you're lying and manipulating and scheming all the time then there's no possibility for love there you can only be truly loving when you are able to open yourself up and surrender to the truth because otherwise you're always forcing to you're always forced to be crafting various kinds of lies and being dishonest in various kinds of ways to meet your egoic agenda and from that position there's no possibility for love facing your fears is a super important practice for becoming more loving because your fears are what holds you back the most every fear you have is one roadblock to you being infinitely loving and ultimately the ultimate fear you have to give up is your fear of death unless you give up your fear of death there cannot be truly unconditional love in you because you will always in the end if you're afraid of death you will always choose your own life and your own ass over truth and love and that's a huge obstacle that you need to overcome and psychedelics can help you a lot there with that with that um point practicing acceptance non-judgment and surrender is a great technique being more kind more giving more caring and more vulnerable is a really good practice especially being more vulnerable too many of us are afraid to be vulnerable and to be maximally loving you have to become very comfortable being vulnerable because that's what love makes you it makes you vulnerable it it does hinder your ability to survive and you might say william why would i want that why would i want to hinder my ability to survive right it doesn't make sense to you because you're thinking about it from the point of view of the ego and for the point of the eu of the ego what you want to do is you want to erect giant walls and emote around you create a castle an impregnable castle but in doing so you separate yourself out from the world and so counterintuitively you gotta break down those walls and be comfortable being vulnerable and if it kills you that's right you gotta accept that it'll kill you that's why it's difficult that's why you gotta give up your fear of death there's no guarantee that in being loving that everything will go your way and you will be showered with money and women and cars and houses and that you will even live there's no guarantee of this if it if there was that guarantee then it would be easy and it wouldn't be love the whole point is that there are no guarantees and that by making yourself vulnerable yes you can get hurt yes you might get um hurt in a relationship if you get if you let yourself be vulnerable you might get hurt physically sometimes you know mahatma gandhi was beaten over the head with sticks and yet he would still refuse to to fight he would refuse to to carry a weapon right that's that's real power is allowing yourself to be vulnerable that takes real courage and real strength and this is something that a lot of men don't understand for so for men a really good technique for becoming more loving is to start to embrace your vulnerability and your feminine side this is one of the keys for men and as you do this you will move from orange to green and for women also you got to train yourself to be more feminine stop trying to out compete men in this stage orange environment their entire books and courses written about how to embrace your feminine side for women and you should go watch those and maybe you men should also go watch those you'll learn a lot about yourself by trying to act macho this sort of um juvenile form of masculinity that's popular these days um what you're actually doing is you're trying to erect a facade a false facade of invulnerability so you're trying to steal yourself and be stoic and not be emotional and not be girly and and all this and um actually this is preventing you from loving and it's actually preventing you from being able to attract women because what women want is they want a vulnerable man not a stoic man not a robot women don't like having sex with robots if they uh if they want that they can just use a vibrator the best way to attract women is to be very emotional and this is so counterintuitive for many guys because uh they think that they gotta act all macho and be all cool and stoic and that's how they get the hot girl no just the opposite it's true another great practice is to allow yourself to cry and of course this requires vulnerability the reason you have to allow yourself to cry is because at some point your love for the world would become so powerful and so um just effusive that you'll be radiating all the time to the point where it'll actually bring you to tears because you'll be so conscious of the beauty of everything you'll be just sitting in a room full of people and then you'll just start crying because of how beautiful it all is right but you have to be strong enough to be able to allow yourself to do that when there are people sitting there watching you and our society doesn't usually look kindly upon displays of love it actually makes you sort of cringe and feel awkward when you see someone being truly loving and yet your capacity for love is like down here but their capacity to love is like up here it actually kind of it makes you uncomfortable in your body that's these stage blue and stage orange people um they actually they're not capable of it they're not capable of actually forming a relationship many orange sage orange men can't form a relationship with a woman because they don't know how to be intimate they don't know how to be human they're just like left brain logical robots and they think that iq solves everything this sort of mentality this is not going to fly you can't create a good life this way another really great practice is practicing unconditional self-love so go check out my episode called how to love yourself where i guide you through a pretty lengthy sort of guided visualization and we go step by step in helping you to to love all the different parts of yourself that you've disowned you can practice that um practice loving your body it's very hard to to love other people when you don't physically love yourself because you think you're ugly or you think you're too short or you think you're you got something weird going on on your body whatever you don't accept yourself because when you don't accept your body you also will not accept the bodies of other people and that will become an obstacle for you another practice is to practice feeling love especially during difficult and bad times those times when you have trauma those times when you have something that goes horribly wrong or someone does something to you which you perceive as an evil they insult you they steal something from you they do some violence to you they hurt you they hurt a family member of yours something like that during those moments it's when your ego wants to lash out to defend itself and the the very counterintuitive move which you need to make is you need to be conscious enough to remind yourself that actually it's all okay and that you can still be loving but see that takes so much power takes so much consciousness to be able to stop that knee-jerk reaction of lashing out and hating somebody or judging somebody or insulting somebody and instead to realize and just to again to be ground yourself in the beauty of this present moment that's really difficult to do so if you can manage to do that that will help you a lot to grow in this department and study role models role models of love like mahatma gandhi and christ and various kinds of saints and sages and zen masters and yogis who are exemplars who are people who worked really hard on themselves and reach that highest levels of being able to embody love and in many cases they died for it like gandhi or christ or many other saints or they were demonized for it you know what happens when you become really really loving and unconditionally accepting of everything you would think that oh everybody loves you and a lot of people of course will love you because your love gets reciprocated but then some people who are at a very dense level of love which means that they hate they are going to hate you for your love all right so this is what happened with gandhi this is what happened with christ this is what happened with many saints and sages and it's very sad it's very tragic that's because people who are very low level of consciousness can't stand the contrast between themselves and how much they hate and then how much somebody like a jesus christ or a gandhi or some yogi is able to love to them it seems like that love is evil right because they think that evil needs to be hated so when a christ figure comes along or a gandhi figure comes along who doesn't hate anything that's extremely threatening to this very dense sort of ego who has built itself up on hatred built an identity out of it and so what does it do it tends to attack and do violence to those people that are most loving that's what happened with martin luther king you could say to some extent with john f kennedy that was a factor you know there's there's a there's there's a reason why a lot of these sort of visionary leaders get get assassinated or get death threats because it's not it's not comfortable at all some of these truths that i'm dropping on you here today if you're a traditionally blue orthodox religious person these are very uncomfortable truths you don't want to admit that love and evil are actually the same thing you don't want to know that god and the devil are the same thing this goes against everything that your orthodox religion has taught you but that's because your orthodox religion has been corrupted by the devil see and uh you should really have expected that you were told not to worship idols you were told that the kingdom of heaven is within you were told to to love your neighbor as yourself were you not told that what do you think that means here are some points about practicing love that are very important a lot of people misunderstand make sure that when you love you don't do it because you should or because you have to or because there's a rule this is what a lot of traditional religious people misunderstand about love you don't love because you should you love because you love you love reality genuine love you have to genuinely love reality you don't fake it you actually love it so be very careful about this fake it till you make it approach to some extent you do have to fake it till you make it but not too much because remember that you can only push the ego so far so long as you have a sense of ego of separate self you will never be able to love unconditionally if you want to love at the level that christ or gandhi loved at you have to surrender yourself entirely and you have to surrender all of your ideologies all of your beliefs and even religion and even your belief in god you have to surrender all of that that's the cost that's why it's so rare that's why not everybody is jesus christ or gandhi it's very radical to take this leap to surrender everything and even to surrender your life you see so until you do that your ego will only allow you to go so far so you have to understand that you have to understand that even though you can use the sort of fake it till you make an approach and you can fill yourself with love at certain times you're never going to really be able to love everybody because that ego is still in you and that ego is by definition division and so those things that you're dividing yourself from uh you're not going to be able to fully love them and that's okay that just means you got to keep really working towards that awakening towards that enlightenment towards the dissolution of the ego that's a very important component and this is why most religious people are hypocrites and they're not actually able to love and that actually most of them are filled with hate and are so judgmental is because their orthodox religions don't actually teach them valid powerful techniques that will actually deliver them to full non-duality it's just beliefs and ideas and sermons that you hear at church which is not enough to break down the ego so you're not going to be able to fake jesus's love by just aping jesus you have to actually go through what jesus went through which is the disillusion of of everything give up your entire life and then you'll be able to love like jesus but that's not traditional religion and most people don't have any idea that that's what they're supposed to be doing nor do they know how to go about it um really what i recommend if you want to become very loving is you got to burn the candle from both ends by which i mean you got to pursue awakening on the one hand and be working at dissolving your ego through practices like self-inquiry and yoga and meditation and contemplation and on the other hand you also have to be practicing on a daily basis being more loving understanding that like those two will will meet together and synergize at some point and that neither one of them um well you can get to it just through awakening if you want um but just the approach where you're just sort of faking happiness but you're not awakening and dissolving your ego that that approach is never going to fully work it's sort of like the difference between a fake smile and a real smile you know the difference between a fake smile so here's a fake smile that's a fake smile and here's a real smile that's a real smile so how do you do that to get a real smile you actually have to connect with joy and happiness on the inside that's something you need to practice that's not something i'm faking i'm not faking a real smile here like i can actually become conscious right now of just how amazing this present moment is because i have been working on developing this metaphysical connection to reality such that i can actually feel myself create a state of happiness and joy and that's something you can learn to do try it right now a real smile not a fake smile real love not fake love also very importantly remember that love since it's a facet of the absolute is a facet of enlightenment and it really is an enlightenment experience on its own so enlightenment has different facets and one of the fastest of enlightenment that's most talked about is the no self the realization itself is illusory that's of course a very important insight to have and the way you have that insight by by contemplating the question who am i what am i usually that's a good one you can also have insights into the ultimate nature of reality you can have insights into what consciousness is what god is and so forth but one of the insights is you can have an insight into what love is and that's a discreet specific insight people who have realized no self have not necessarily had the insight of infinite love sometimes you get both of them at once sometimes you only get one and not the other and i've had it various different kinds of ways i've had many experiences of no self but not really felt the infinite love and i've had other experiences where i felt the infinite love very powerfully so if you fancy yourself enlightened remember that your realization is not complete until you've had an experience of infinite love no self is not enough you need to go deeper and that's one of the criticisms of neoadvida and other simplistic formulations of enlightenment where they try to simplify everything down and boil it all down to some version of no self without distinguishing between different facets of enlightenment think that there's just one thing to realize and so once you realize no self that's it you think you're done but actually there's so much more deeper and other and even broader things to realize um but um many people who like to view enlightenment too simplistically they they miss out they miss out on infinite intelligence they miss out on infinite love they miss out on why is there something rather than nothing they miss out on god and so forth so there's a there's a lot there and we'll be talking about more of those facets in the future also understand that it's going to be impossible for you to love fully until you accept the ignorance of mankind there needs to be a very deep acceptance of ignorance there needs to be an understanding and a reconciliation of how evil is created by ignorance always and an understanding of how hatred is really a form of love because until you realize that hatred is a form of love and that it's all fueled by ignorance you're going to take it too personally and you're going to think that people are bad for doing bad stuff in the world when when you have a really mature understanding of all this then you realize that actually it's all part of the entire unfolding you realize the devil is god and that's how you learn to love the devil you can't love the devil so long as you think the devil is some separate thing from god so spend a lot of time contemplating what is ignorance and why does it arise and also what is evil and why does it arise you're gonna have to drop your moralizations and that's a huge huge limitation of orthodox religion is that it's so moralistic it's so judgmental that once that's programmed into you it's really even difficult to hear what i'm saying here because the things i'm saying here go completely against all the things that you've been moralized and that you've moralized others about your whole life and so it doesn't doesn't compute for the ego understand that love can be manifested in many different ways it's not just about feeling stuff in your heart of course that's an important component but it can be manifested as life purpose career business it can manifest as your relationships it can manifest in the way that you carry yourself in the way that you think about yourself in the way that you think about the world in your politics in um the way that you exercise compassion masculine compassion versus feminine compassion i have an episode about the difference between those two you can go search for that it's an interesting difference um so there's a lot of ways that love gets manifest in the world because love is sort of an abstract thing in the same way that intelligence is a very abstract thing and intelligence has to get manifested in some sort of material ways for you to really connect with it a lot of times it's hard for most people to connect to pure abstract essential intelligence and same thing with love for example actualize.org is a material manifestation of my love for reality so what i did is i spent a good 10 to 20 years cultivating my love for reality for philosophy for psychology for personal development for understanding for insight for consciousness i've cultivated that over thousands of hours with deliberate planning and strategy and hard work putting all of this together such that then it gets materialized as these videos and this channel and this website and most people when they see it they don't see the love they just see a website and some videos and a youtube channel and some talking head up here and maybe some of them say oh this is some interesting cool stuff oh there's something special about some of these teachings maybe they think but they don't realize that all of this is my love for the universe that i've channeled deliberately not accidentally very very deliberately against all sorts of fears and personal weaknesses and limitations and my own ego and my own narcissism against all of those obstacles i had to work through to be able to put this out here and share this with the world and why do i do that because i love it because that's what i found i love the most about reality is the insights that i have i love exploring the way the mind works i love exploring human psychology i love exploring consciousness i love teaching it i love explaining it i love coming up with little metaphors and examples and and all of this i love that now you might not love that which means you don't need to do the same thing i do you got to find what that is for you your career needs to be in a um an expression of your love for the world otherwise why are you doing it you're wasting your time your relationships need to be an expression of your love for the world otherwise why are you wasting your time imagine what it would be like if you spent the next 20 years aligning every domain of your life from your work to your finances to your relationships to your health to your fitness to everything to the way that you think the way that you feel the way you speak all of it was aligned to maximize love a genuine expression of your love in every one of those categories think about how your life would be then right now if you're like the typical person you're only tapping into maybe five percent of your potential as far as love goes the other 95 of your heart is closed you're not manifesting and expressing love in all these different domains and so what you have is a weak uh loveless sort of life that's what you've got you're not tapped into the power of love love is the greatest power you want to transform the quality of your life tap into love but you can't do it why not because you're too weak you're too selfish you're too narcissistic you're too scared you're too left brained you're too wrapped up in all sorts of ideologies and judgments and opinions your libertarianism your your fight against the social justice warriors you're this you're that you're fighting for your religion you're fighting against that race you're fighting against those people you have enemies and because of that you have a weak life what do you really want from your life do you want to love your life well how are you going to love your life if you don't have the capacity to love you're only going to be able to love your life as high as your capacity to love and most people's capacity is so low the glass ceiling is so low that's where growth comes in that's what you're growing yourself for is to be a more loving human being a more loving leader you know to be a great leader you gotta be a powerful lover leaders who can't love they become tyrants and they become hated and they go down as disgrace as in human history and those leaders that can love powerly powerfully they become idolized and they become memorialized and entire religions get started around them that's how powerful love is that's how rare it is it's so rare that when a person comes along that can love unconditionally indiscriminately and surrender his entire life this is such a powerful and motivating force that uh an army rallies around him and he gets deified as a god like literally that's what happens but it happens so rarely that there's there's handfuls of these kinds of people throughout human history you can count them on a couple of hands that's how powerful love is and you can see that because it's so rare that there must be a great cost that's paid because otherwise everyone would do it everyone would be jesus but everyone is not jesus why not because they're just too damn selfish because it's just so counterintuitive all of this growth stuff is so counterintuitive it requires enormous intelligence and consciousness to bust through all the self-deceptions within you all the fears and all the rationalizations and all the ideologies to bust through that to escape the labyrinth of your own mind requires incredible intelligence luckily you have a connection to infinite intelligence which you can develop luckily you are made out of consciousness all you got to do is just develop it to create a great life you need to summon the courage to tap into love cowards do not have great lives because cowards cannot love and love requires the greatest courage love is something you have to work for years of work laying the groundwork it's not just an emotion that comes and goes like i said like with actualize.org it's it's years of of sometimes grindy work to put this stuff out there being strategic being pragmatic it's not just about being airy fairy and always believing that everything will just happen for me no it's also being very pragmatic and practical and doing the things you got to do love is having a vision for your life a vision of what you can offer to mankind and then waking up every morning on time and going through the motions going to work and working 10 12 hours a day sometimes for weeks at a time figuring out how do i train myself what do i teach myself what books do i read who do i listen to what countries do i go to what teachers do i find out there you know what what workshops what seminars what gurus are out there i go there and i study all that stuff how many thousands of dollars do i invest to do all this that's all hard tangible and that's necessary to be able to actualize it that's what it takes the rubber has to meet the road it's not enough to talk about this stuff it's not about just sitting there on your couch and say oh yeah i'm a loving person i'm gonna be more loving and then the next day just kind of going back to your old habits it's that's not going to cut it a real commitment to to love means you're transforming your entire life that means you're willing to surrender everything about yourself to transform yourself into a more loving person your entire life is on the line you're not holding back of course you're also not being foolish and stupid being loving does not mean you got to be a a foolish person who takes unnecessary risks or let themselves get abused or walked over no no no no no that's a complete misunderstanding and distortion of what it means to be loving loving people have a clear and powerful intent and sense of direction purpose in their life so they don't let themselves get walked over or abused they have strong boundaries in the sense that they don't they don't allow the nonsense and egotism of others to drag them down you see to be loving you have to be uplifting of everybody around you and also of yourself that's what leaders do is they lift themselves up and then they have so much of that energy and love to lift themselves up and then they're able to lift everybody else up around them as well they have an abundance of it and over abundance this is something that you commit your whole life to because you can see how powerful this is you can see that this determines the whole quality of your life hinges on this and so it's worth it but you got to see that it takes a visionary to be this loving which is why it's so rare all right so to wrap this up very practically an overarching goal for you is to have your first mystical experience of absolute love this is essential you need to have this so that this conversation about love is not just a belief or a cute idea or just some emotion that you visualized but it you got to get to the absolute love insight that's a real mystical experience of bliss and ecstasy and nirvana you got to get that so how do you do it well through various kinds of spiritual practices which i've already mentioned uh or the best way and quickest way is through psychedelics that's what i recommend some mushrooms some lsd some five meo that's the way to do it but you don't have to do psychedelics they're also non-psychedelic ways but it'll take longer it'll take more work and as a homework assignment here for you over the next week what i'd like you to do is i would like you to notice and monitor yourself carefully look at how your love is conditional and why it's conditional look at how you cherry-pick throughout your day you're cherry-picking the things that you love because there's all this stuff that you hate and look at the stuff that you hate that you don't love about your life or that you see in the world that that you're not pleased by look at that stuff and ask yourself why am i hating that thing what am i really fearing and then make a list of all your fears the fears that are holding you back from being more loving with this person with that situation with this political matter that you're seeing on the news or or whatever's going on there you got to start to get real serious and honest about the things that are holding you back within yourself your own inner weaknesses why aren't you able to love more what are you really afraid of are you afraid of losing your job are you afraid that you will get out competed by somebody in business are you afraid that people with will think you're too feminine are you afraid to think that people will think that you're weak or um are you afraid to cry in front of others what are you afraid of make that list and monitor yourself you need a very stark assessment of how conditional your love is such that then you can say to yourself okay yeah i can see my love is so limited so crippled so conditional and um [Music] that will be a little difficult to stomach at first but then also it's important because you know you got to start with the truth by admitting that stuff to yourself um you're going to start to see opportunities for turning that around and those are the areas you got to work on with your self-actualization all right i'm done here please remember to click that like button for me and come check out actualize.org that's my website you will find my blog where i'm posting insights pretty consistently uh the forum where you can discuss this stuff the life purpose course which helps you to well really the life purpose course is all about how to develop a career which is aligned with your deepest love that's a rare thing few people teach you how to do that i share sort of the tricks and tips and strategies that i've used the principles that i used to do that with my work and how you can do that with any kind of career you don't have to become a self-help teacher to to do this any kind of career it works for musicians for filmmakers for authors for coaches for engineers for programmers for scientists for mathematicians for inventors for um entrepreneurs it doesn't matter the principles are universal so maybe check out the course and check out my book list i do have some books about love on my book list and uh that's basically it i just want to point out one thing and that is that it's very important that as you're watching my content that you get don't get too seduced by it and too mesmerized by it remember that you don't really know me through these videos the more you watch the more you think you know me you don't really know me so be careful about not idolizing me too much or getting too personal with this relationship that you think we have in the end these are just videos in the end i'm just a talking head who's delivering information to you take the information use the information learn to think for yourself don't believe anything i say don't just take it on blind faith don't just trust me do the research read the books you need to actually investigate this stuff for yourself this is not a belief-based process that we're doing with actualized effort this is a first-hand experience process no matter what truths i give you it doesn't matter they don't transform your life the only way the truth can transform your life is if you follow up with them and you derive them for yourself in the same way that if we're doing math and i'm teaching you math it doesn't help you to look at me proving something on the chalkboard you need to go through the proof yourself to see why it works the way that it works right so i'm not special here this is not about me you don't need to praise me or idolize me or think highly of me this is all distraction very very common trap and as you watch more about my videos you're gonna more likely fall into this trap so just want to point that out to you so watch out other than that though stay tuned do watch more videos um and we've got a lot more juicy topics to cover to come you